[89]
If, then, I was wanting to these aids
to the cause of my safety, because I was unwilling to do battle for it, I
will then confess, as you say, that assistance was not wanting to me, but
that I myself was wanting to the assistance which I had. But if, the greater
I saw the zeal of good men in my behalf, the more I thought it my duty to
consult their interests and to spare them, do you find fault with me for the
same conduct which was considered a credit to Quintus Metellus and which is
to this day, and always will be, his greatest glory? for it is well
known—as you may hear from many who were present at the
time—that he departed greatly against the will of all good men;
and there is not the slightest doubt that he would have had the best of it
if they had come to a struggle and a trial of arms. Therefore, though he was
defending his own actions, and not those of the senate, though it was his
own opinion that he was resolutely upholding and not the welfare of the
republic,—still when he endured that voluntary wound he surpassed
in glory and credit the justest and most illustrious triumphs of all the
Metelli; because he would not be the cause of even those
wickedest of citizens being slain, and because he provided against the
danger of any good man being involved in their slaughter. And should
I,—seeing such great danger before us, as, if I were defeated, the
total destruction of the republic must ensue, and if I got the better, an
endless contest would follow, should I, I say, give any one reason to style
me the destroyer of the republic, after having been its saviour?
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