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THEUROPIDES
to himself . By my troth, I am undone! What need is there of talking? According to the words I have heard, I surely haven't lately voyaged hence to Ægypt, but even to some desolate land and the most remote shores have I been borne about, so much am I at a loss to know where I now am. But I shall soon know; for see, here's the person of whom my son bought the house. Enter SIMO. THEUROPIDES
What are you about? SIMO
I'm coming home from the Forum. THEUROPIDES
Has anything new been going on at the Forum to-day? SIMO
Why yes. THEUROPIDES
What is it, pray? SIMO
I saw a dead man being carried to burial. THEUROPIDES
Dear me! that is something new! SIMO
I saw one who was dead being carried out to burial1 They said that he had been alive but just before. THEUROPIDES
Woe to that head of yours for your nonsense! SIMO
Why are you, thus idling about, enquiring after the news? THEUROPIDES
Because I've just arrived from abroad. SIMO
I'm engaged out to dine: don't suppose I shall invite you2. THEUROPIDES
I' faith, I don't want. SIMO
But, to-morrow, unless any person invites me first, I'll even dine with you. THEUROPIDES
I' faith, and that, too, I don't want. Unless you are engaged with something of greater importance, lend me your attention. SIMO
By all means. THEUROPIDES
You have received, as far as I understand, forty minæ of Philolaches. SIMO
Never a coin, so far as I know. THEUROPIDES
What? Not from my servant Tranio? SIMO
Much less is that the case. THEUROPIDES
Which he gave you by way of deposit? SIMO
What are you dreaming about? THEUROPIDES
What, I? Why, really, 'tis yourself, who hope that, by dissembling in this manner, you'll be able to make void this bargain. SIMO
Why, what do you mean? THEUROPIDES
The business that, in my absence, my son transacted with you here. SIMO
How did your son, in your absence, transact any business with me? What pray, or on what day? THEUROPIDES
I owe you eighty minæ of silver. SIMO
Not to me, indeed, upon my faith; but still, if you do owe them, give them me. Faith must be kept. Don't be attempting to deny it. THEUROPIDES
Assuredly, I shall not deny that I owe them; and I shall pay them. Do you take care how you deny that you received the forty from him. SIMO
Troth now, prithee, look this way at me, and answer me. He said that you were wishful to give a wife to your son; for that reason, he said that you intended building on your own premises. THEUROPIDES
I, intended building here? SIMO
So he told me. THEUROPIDES
Ah me! I'm ruined outright! I've hardly any voice left3. Neighbours, I'm undone, ruined quite! SIMO
Has Tranio been causing any confusion? THEUROPIDES
Yes; he has thrown everything into confusion. He has made a fool of me to-day in a disgraceful manner. SIMO
What is it you say? THEUROPIDES
This matter is just as I am telling you: he has this day made a fool of me in an outrageous manner. Now I beseech you that you'll kindly aid me, and lend me your assistance. SIMO
What would you have? THEUROPIDES
I beg of you, come this way together with me. SIMO
Be it so. THEUROPIDES
Lend me the assistance of your slaves and some scourges. SIMO
Take them by all means. THEUROPIDES
At the same time I'll tell you about this, in what a fashion he has this day imposed upon me. They go into the house of SIMO.
1 Being carried out to burial: It is supposed that in this reply he plays upon the question of Theuropides, who uses the word "processit" in his question, which may either mean, "what has been going on?" or "what procession has there been?
2 I shall invite you: He alludes to the universal custom of giving friends a "cœna viatica' or welcome entertainment, on arriving from. off a journey.
3 I've hardly any voice left: "Vocis on habeo satis." Lietally 'I have not voice enough."
The Comedies of Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley. London. G. Bell and Sons. 1912.
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