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Enter CHARINUS, from DEMIPHO's house.
CHARINUS
to himself . Am I not a wretched mortal, who can rest quietly nowhere? If I'm at home, my mind's abroad; but if I'm abroad, my mind's at home. To such a degree. has love kindled a flame in my breast and in my heart; did not the tears fall from my eyes, why then, I doubt, my head would be on fire. I cling to hope; safety I've lost; whether she'll return or no, I know not. If my father seizes her, as he has said, then my welfare is gone in exile; but if my companion has done what he promised, then my welfare has not departed. But still, even if Eutychus had had gouty feet, he could have been back from the harbour by this. This is a very great fault of his, that he is too slow, against the wishes of my feelings. But looking towards the side isn't this he whom I espy running? 'Tis he himself; I'll go meet him. Clasps his hands. Thou who art the overlooker of Gods and of men and the mistress of mortals as well, inasmuch as thou hast indulged me in this hope that I entertained, I do return thee thanks. Does any hope remain? Alas! I'm utterly undone. His countenance by no means pleases me! He moves along in sadness. My breast burns. I am in doubt. He shakes his head. Eutychus! Enter EUTYCHUS. EUTYCHUS
Alas! Charinus. He pants. CHARINUS
Before you take breath, in one word, speak out. Where am I? Here, or among the dead? EUTYCHUS
You are neither among the dead nor here. CHARINUS
I'm saved, immortality has been vouchsafed me--he has purchased her. He has nicely tricked my father. There's no one living more clever at gaining his purpose. Prithee, do tell me; if I'm neither here nor at Acheron, where am I? EUTYCHUS
Nowhere in the world. CHARINUS
I'm utterly undone! That speech has just put an end to me here. Whatever it is, do come to the material points of the matter. EUTYCHUS
First of all, we are ruined. CHARINUS
But why don't you in preference tell me that which I don't know? It is an annoying way of speaking, when you should despatch the business, to be beating about the bush1. EUTYCHUS
The damsel has been taken away from you. CHARINUS
Eutychus, you are guilty of a capital offence. EUTYCHUS
How so? CHARINUS
Because you are killing your year's-mate and friend, a free citizen. EUTYCHUS
May the Gods forbid it! CHARINUS
You've thrust a sword into my throat; this moment I shall fall. EUTYCHUS
Troth now, prithee, don't be desponding in mind. CHARINUS
I have none to be desponding in. Tell on, then, the rest of your bad news; for whom has she been purchased? EUTYCHUS
I don't know. She had been already knocked down to the bidder and taken off by him, when I got to the harbour. CHARINUS
Ah me! Already, indeed, have you heaped burning mountains of woe upon me. Proceed, executioner, torment me on, since you have once begun. EUTYCHUS
This is not more a cause of anguish to yourself, than it has proved to me this day. CHARINUS
Tell me, who bought her? BUT.
I' faith, I do not know. CHARINUS
Well, is this a good friend giving one his aid? EUTYCHUS
What would you have me do? CHARINUS
The same that you see me doing, die with grief. But did you make enquiry, what was the appearance of the person that had bought her? Perhaps the damsel might have been traced out by that means. EUTYCHUS
Ah! wretch that I am---- CHARINUS
Do cease lamenting; attend to that which you are now about. EUTYCHUS
What have I done? CHARINUS
Proved the destruction of myself, and with myself of your own word. EUTYCHUS
The Gods know that that is not any fault of mine. CHARINUS
A fine thing, indeed! You mention the Gods, who are absent, as witnesses; how am I to believe you in that? EUTYCHUS
Why, it rests with your own self what to believe; with myself, what to say, that rests with me. CHARINUS
On that point you are ready, so as to give answer like for like; but as to what you are requested, you are lame, blind, dumb, defective, and weak. You promised that you would trick my father; I myself supposed that I was entrusting the matter to a skilful person, and I entrusted it to an utter stone. EUTYCHUS
What could I do? CHARINUS
What could you do, do you ask me? You should have enquired, and asked who he was or whence he was, of what lineage; whether he was a citizen or a foreigner---- EUTYCHUS
They said that he was a citizen of Attica. CHARINUS
At least, you should have found out where he lives, if you couldn't the name. EUTYCHUS
No person was able to say he knew. CHARINUS
But at least you should have enquired what was the appearance of the man. EUTYCHUS
I did do so. CHARINUS
Of what figure, then, did they say he was? EUTYCHUS
I'll tell you: grey-headed, bandy-legged, pot-bellied, wide-mouthed, of stunted figure, with darkish eyes, lank jaws, splay-footed rather. CHARINUS
You are mentioning to me not a human being, but a whole storehouse, I don't know what, of deformities. Is there anything else that you can tell about him? EUTYCHUS
It is just as much as I know. CHARINUS
I' troth, for sure, with his lank jaws he has caused my jaw to drop2. I cannot endure it; I'm determined that I'll go hence in exile. But what state in especial to repair to, I'm in doubt; Megara, Eretria, Corinth, Chalcis, Crete, Cyprus, Sicyon, Cnidos, Zacynthus, Lesbos, or Bœotia. EUTYCHUS
Why are you adopting that design? CHARINUS
Why, because love is tormenting me. EUTYCHUS
What say you as to this? Suppose, if when you have arrived there, whither you are now intending to go, you begin there to fall desperately in love, and there, too, you fail of success, then you'll be taking flight from there as well, and after that, again, from another place, if the same shall happen, what bounds, pray, will be set to your exile, what limits to your flight? What country or home can possibly be certain for you? Tell me that. Say now, if you leave this city, do you fancy that you'll leave your love here behind? If it is so fully taken as certain in your mind that so it will be, if you hold that as a point resolved upon, how much better is it for you to go away somewhere in the country, to be there, to live there, until the time when desire for her and passion have set you at liberty? CHARINUS
Have you now said your say? EUTYCHUS
I have said it. CHARINUS
You have said it to no purpose; this is my full determination. I'll be off home, to pay my duty to my father and my mother; after that, unknown to my father, I'll fly from this country, or adopt some other plan. Goes into DEMIPHO'S house, leaving EUTYCHUS alone EUTYCHUS
to himself . How suddenly he has taken himself off and gone away. Ah! wretch that I am! if he goes away, all will say that it has happened through my remissness. I'm determined at once to order as many criers as possible to be hired to search for her to find her; after that, I'll go to the Prætor forthwith, and beg him to give me search-warrant officers in all the quarters of the city; for I find that nothing else whatever is now left for me to do. (Exit.)
1 To be beating about the bush: Longinquum loqui; literally to be talking at a distance."
2 He has caused my jaw to drop: Literally, "he has given me a great evil." He puns upon the resemblance of the words "malum," an "evil," and "mala," the "jaw."
The Comedies of Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley. London. G. Bell and Sons. 1912.
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