Aristophanes, Plutus
Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Ed.

He holds his torch close to her, in order to inspect her more closely.

Old Woman
Oh! oh! keep your distance with that torch.

Chremylus
aside
It's just as well; if a single spark were to reach her, she would catch fire like an old olive branch.

Youth
[1055] I propose to have a game with you.

Old Woman
eagerly
Where, naughty boy?

Youth
Here. Take some nuts in your hand.

Old Woman
What game is this?

Youth
Let's play at guessing how many ... teeth you have.

Chremylus
Ah! I'll tell you; she's got three, or perhaps four.

Youth
Pay up; you've lost! she has only one single grinder.

Old Woman
[1060] You wretch! you're not in your right senses. Do you insult me thus before this crowd?

Youth
I am washing you thoroughly; that's doing you a service.

Chremylus
No, no! as she is there, she can still deceive; but if this white-lead is washed off, [1065] her wrinkles will come out plainly.

Old Woman
You are only an old fool!

Youth
Ah! he is playing the gallant, he is playing with your tits, and thinks I do not see it.

Old Woman
To Chremylus
Oh! no, by Aphrodite, don't do that, you naughty jealous fellow.

Chremylus
[1070] Oh! most certainly not, by Hecate! Verily and indeed I would need to be mad! But, young man, I cannot forgive you, if you cast off this beautiful child.

Youth
Why, I adore her.

Chremylus
But nevertheless she accuses you ...

Youth
Accuses me of what?

Chremylus
... of having told her insolently, [1075] “Once upon a time the Milesians were brave.”

Youth
Oh! I shall not dispute with you about her.

Chremylus
Why not?

Youth
Out of respect for your age; with anyone but you I should not be so easy; come, take the girl and be happy.

Chremylus
[1080] I see, I see; you don't want her any more.

Old Woman
Nay! this is a thing that cannot be allowed.

Youth
I cannot argue with a woman who has been laid by every one of these thirteen thousand men.

He points to the audience.

Chremylus
Yet, since you liked the wine, [1085] you should now consume the lees.

Youth
But these lees are quite rancid and fusty.

Chremylus
Pass them through a straining-cloth; they'll clarify.

Youth
But I want to go in with you to offer these chaplets to the god.

Old Woman
[1090] And I too have something to tell him.

Youth
Then I won't enter.

Chremylus
Come, have no fear; she won't harm you.

Youth
That's true; I've been managing the old bark so long.

Old Woman
Go in; I'll follow after you.

They enter the house.

Chremylus
[1095] Good gods! that old hag has fastened herself to her youth like a limpet to its rock.