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Mnesilochus
aside
Then you make love horse-fashion when you are composing a Phaedra. Agathon
If the heroes are men, [155] everything in him will be manly. What we don't possess by nature, we must acquire by imitation. Mnesilochus
aside
When you are staging Satyrs, call me; I will do my best to help you from behind, if I can get my tool up. Agathon
Besides, it is bad taste for a poet [160] to be coarse and hairy. Look at the famous Ibycus, at Anacreon of Teos, and at Alcaeus, who handled music so well; they wore head-bands and found pleasure in the lascivious and dances of Ionia. And have you not heard [165] what a dandy Phrynichus was and how careful in his dress? For this reason his pieces were also beautiful, for the works of a poet are copied from himself. Mnesilochus
Ah! so it is for this reason that Philocles, who is so hideous, writes hideous pieces; Xenocles, who is malicious, malicious ones, [170] and Theognis, who is cold, such cold ones? Agathon
Yes, necessarily and unavoidably; and it is because I knew this that I have so well cared for my person. Mnesilochus
How, in the gods' name? Euripides
Come, leave off badgering him; I was just the same at his age, when I began to write. Mnesilochus
[175] Ah! then, by Zeus! I don't envy you your fine manners. Euripides
to Agathon
But listen to the cause that brings me here. Agathon
Say on. Euripides
Agathon, wise is he who can compress many thoughts into few words. Struck by a most cruel misfortune, [180] I come to you as a suppliant. Agathon
What are you asking? Euripides
The women purpose killing me to-day during the Thesmophoria, because I have dared to speak ill of them. Agathon
And what can I do for you in the matter? Euripides
Everything. Mingle secretly [185] with the women by making yourself pass as one of themselves; then do you plead my cause with your own lips, and I am saved. You, and you alone, are capable of speaking of me worthily. Agathon
But why not go and defend yourself? Euripides
Impossible. First of all, I am known; [190] further, I have white hair and a long beard; whereas you, you are good-looking, charming, and are close-shaven; you are fair, delicate, and have a woman's voice. Agathon
Euripides! Euripides
Well? Agathon
Have you not said in one of your pieces, “You love to see the light, and don't you believe your father loves it too?” Euripides
[195] Yes. Agathon
Then never you think I am going to expose myself in your stead; it would be madness. It's up to you to submit to the fate that overtakes you; one must not try to trick misfortune, but resign oneself to it with good grace. Mnesilochus
[200] You fairy! That's why your arse is so accessible to lovers. Euripides
But what prevents your going there? Agathon
I should run more risk than you would. Euripides
Why? Agathon
Why? I should look as if I were wanting to trespass on secret nightly pleasures of the women [205] and to rape their Aphrodite.
Aristophanes. Women at the Thesmophoria. The Complete Greek Drama, vol. 2. Eugene O'Neill, Jr. New York. Random House. 1938.
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