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Meton takes to his heels. He is no sooner gone than an Inspector arrives. Inspector
Where are the Proxeni? Pisthetaerus
Who is this Sardanapalus? Inspector
I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia as inspector. Pisthetaerus
An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal? Inspector
[1025] A decree of Teleas. Pisthetaerus
Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and get out? Inspector
Indeed I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the Assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces. Pisthetaerus
Take it then, and get on your way. This is your salary. He beats him. Inspector
[1030] What does this mean? Pisthetaerus
This is the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces. Inspector
You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector. Pisthetaerus
Are you not going to get out with your urns? It's not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods. The Inspector goes into hiding. A Dealer in Decrees arrives. Dealer in Decrees
Reading.
[1035] “If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian ...” Pisthetaerus
What trouble now? What book is that? Dealer in Decrees
I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws. Pisthetaerus
Which? Dealer in Decrees
[1040] “The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians.” Pisthetaerus
And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians. He beats him.
Dealer in Decrees
Ow! what are you doing? Pisthetaerus
Now will you get out of here with your decrees? [1045] For I am going to let you see some severe ones. The Dealer in Decrees departs; the Inspector comes out of hiding.
Inspector
Returning.
I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion. Pisthetaerus
Ha! my friend! are you still here? The Dealer in Decrees also returns.
Dealer in Decrees
[1050] “Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted ...” Pisthetaerus
What! rascal! you are back too? He rushes at him.
Inspector
Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae. Pisthetaerus
And I'll smash your urns. Inspector
Do you recall that evening when you crapped on the column where the decrees are posted? [1055] Pisthetaerus
Here! here! let him be seized. The Inspector runs off. Why, don't you want to stay any longer? But let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.
Aristophanes. Birds. The Complete Greek Drama, vol. 2. Eugene O'Neill, Jr. New York. Random House. 1938.
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