And the cook in Diphilus's Painter tells us also to whom he thinks it worth his while to hire himself, saying—
A. I will not use your meat, nor give my aid
Unless I'm sure that I shall have all means
Which needful are to make a proper show;
Nor do I e'er go anywhere till first
I know who 'tis who makes the sacrifice,
Or what the cause may be which prompts the banquet,
,Or who the guests are who have been invited.
For I have got a regular list at home
Of where I choose to go, and where I don't.
As first, to speak of the commercial class;
Some captain of a ship may take a sacrifice
Just to discharge some vow, made when he lost
His mast, pr broke the rudder of his vessel,
Or, having sprung a leak, threw overboard
His cargo. I'll have nought to do with him:
For he does nothing willingly, but only
Just so much as he thinks he cannot help.
And every time a cup is fill'd with wine,
He makes a calculation of the sum
Which he can charge his owners or his passengers,
And thinks that what his guests do eat and drink
Is his own flesh and blood. Another came,
But three days since, from the Byzantine port,
Safe and successful; joyful in a profit
Of ten or twelve per cent; talking of nothing
But freight and interest, spending all his love
On worn-out panders. Soon as he did quit
The ship and set his foot upon the land,
I blew my nose, gave him my hand, and utter'd
Audible thanks to saving Jupiter,
And hasten'd forth to wait on him. For this
Is always my way; and I find it answer.
Again, an amorous youth will feast and squander
His sire's estate; to him I go at call.
But those who feast in shares, and throw together
Into one dish their petty contributions,
Though they may tear their clothes, and cry aloud,
“Come, who will cook us our new-purchased supper.”
I let bawl on. For if you go to them,
First there is language hard and blows to bear;
Secondly, one must slave the livelong night;
And when at last you ask them for your pay,
“First bring the pot,” say they. "There was no vinegar
[p. 459] In all that salad." Ask again. "Aye, you
Shall be the first to be well beaten here."
I could recount ten thousand facts like this.
B. But where I take now is a rich brothel,
Where a rich courtesan with other friends
Desires to celebrate with great abundance
A joyous feast in honour of Adonis,
And where you may enjoy yourself in style.
