ALEXANDER
ALEXANDER. While Alexander was a boy, Philip had
great success in his affairs, at which he did not rejoice, but
told the children that were brought up with him, My father
will leave me nothing to do. The children answered, Your
father gets all this for you. But what good, saith he, will
it do me, if I possess much and do nothing? Being nimble and light-footed, his father encouraged him to run in
the Olympic race; Yes, said he, if there were any kings
there to run with me. A wench being brought to lie with
him late in the evening, he asked why she tarried so long.
She answered, I staid until my husband was abed; and he
sharply reproved his pages, because through their carelessness he had almost committed adultery. As he was sacrificing to the Gods liberally, and often offered frankincense,
Leonidas his tutor standing by said, O son, thus generously
will you sacrifice, when you have conquered the country
that bears frankincense. And when he had conquered it,
he sent him this letter: I have sent you an hundred talents
of frankincense and cassia, that hereafter you may not be
niggardly towards the Gods, when you understand I have
conquered the country in which perfumes grow. The
night before he fought at the river Granicus, he exhorted
the Macedonians to sup plentifully and to bring out all
they had, as they were to sup the next day at the charge
of their enemies. Perillus, one of his friends, begged of
him portions for his daughters; and he ordered him to
receive fifty talents. And when he said, Ten were enough,
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Alexander replied: Enough for you to receive, but not for
me to give. He commanded his steward to give Anaxarchus the philosopher as much as he should ask for. He
asketh, said the steward, for an hundred talents. He doth
well, said he, knowing he hath a friend that both can and
will bestow so much on him. Seeing at Miletus many
statues of wrestlers that had overcome in the Olympic
and Pythian games, And where, said he, were these lusty
fellows when the barbarians assaulted your city? When
Ada queen of Caria was ambitious often to send him
sauces and sweetmeats delicately prepared by the best
cooks and artists, he said, I have better confectioners of
my own, viz., my night-travelling for my breakfast, and my
spare breakfast for my dinner. All things being prepared
for a fight, his captains asked him whether he had any thing
else to command them. Nothing, said he, but that the
Macedonians should shave their beards. Parmenio wondering at it, Do you not know, said he, there is no better
hold in a fight than the beard? When Darius offered him
ten thousand talents, and to divide Asia equally with him:
I would accept it, said Parmenio, were I Alexander. And
so truly would I, said Alexander, if I were Parmenio.
But he answered Darius, that the earth could not bear
two suns, nor Asia two kings. When he was going to
fight for the world at Arbela, against ten hundred thousand
enemies set in array against him, some of his friends came
to him, and told him the discourse of the soldiers in their
tents, who had agreed that nothing of the spoils should be
brought into the treasury, but they would have all themselves. You tell me good news, said he, for I hear the
discourse of men that intend to fight, and not to run away.
Several of his soldiers cameto him and said: O King! be
of good courage, and fear not the multitude of your enemies, for they will not be able to endure the very stink of
our sweat. The army being marshalled, he saw a soldier
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fitting his thong to his javelin, and dismissed him as a useless fellow, for fitting his weapons when he should use
them. As he was reading a letter from his mother, containing secrets and accusations of Antipater, Hephaestion
also (as he was wont) read it along with him. Alexander
did not hinder him; but when the letter was read, he took
his ring off his finger, and laid the seal of it upon Hephaestion's mouth. Being saluted as the son of Jupiter in
the temple of Ammon by the chief priest; It is no wonder, said he, for Jupiter is by nature the father of all, and
calls the best men his sons. When he was wounded with
an arrow in the ankle, and many ran to him that were
wont to call him a God, he said smiling: That is blood, as
you see, and not, as Homer saith,—
Such humor as distils from blessed Gods.
1
To some that commended the frugality of Antipater, whose
diet was sober and without luxury; Outwardly, said he,
Antipater wears white clothes, but within he is all purple.
In a cold winter day one of his friends invited him to a
banquet, and there being a little fire on a small hearth, he
bid him fetch either wood or frankincense. Antipatridas
brought a beautiful singing woman to supper with him;
Alexander, being taken with her visage, asked Antipatridas
whether she was his miss or not. And when he confessed
she was; O villain, said he, turn her immediately out
from the banquet. Again, when Cassander forced a kiss
from Pytho, a boy beloved by Evius the piper, and Alexander perceived that Evius was concerned at it, he was extremely enraged at Cassander, and said with a loud voice,
It seems nobody must be loved if you can help it. When
he sent such of the Macedonians as were sick and maimed to
the sea, they showed him one that was in health and yet
subscribed his name among the sick; being brought into
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the presence and examined, he confessed he used that pretence for the love of Telesippa, who was going to the sea.
Alexander asked, of whom he could make inquiries about
this Telesippa, and hearing she was a free woman, he said.
Therefore, my Antigenes, let us persuade her to stay with
us, for to force her to do so when she is a free woman is
not according to my custom. Of the mercenary Grecians
that fought against him he took many prisoners. He commanded the Athenians should be kept in chains, because
they served for wages when they were allowed a public
maintenance; and the Thessalians, because when they had
a fruitful country they did not till it; but he set the Thebans free, saying, To them only I have left neither city nor
country. He took captive an excellent Indian archer that
said he could shoot an arrow through a ring, and commanded him to show his skill; and when the man refused
to do this, he commanded him in a rage to be put to death.
The man told them that led him to execution that, not
having practised for many days, he was afraid he should
miss. Alexander, hearing this, wondered at him and dismissed him with rewards, because he chose rather to die
than show himself unworthy of his reputation. Taxiles,
one of the Indian kings, met Alexander, and advised him
not to make war nor fight with him, but if he were a
meaner person than himself, to receive kindness from him,
or if he were a better man, to show kindness to him. He
answered, that was the very thing they must fight for, who
should exceed the other in bounty. When he heard the
rock called Aornus in India was by its situation impregnable, but the commander of it was a coward; Then, said
he, the place is easy to be taken. Another, commanding
a rock thought to be invincible, surrendered himself and
the rock to Alexander, who committed the said rock and
the adjacent country to his government, saying: I take this
for a wise man, who chose rather to commit himself to a
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good man than to a strong place. When the rock was
taken, his friends said that it exceeded the deeds of Hercules. But I, said he, do not think my actions and all my
empire to be compared with one word of Hercules. He
fined some of his friends whom he caught playing at dice
in earnest. Of his chief and most powerful friends, he
seemed most to respect Craterus, and to love Hephaestion.
Craterus, said he, is the friend of the king; but Hephaestion is the friend of Alexander. He sent fifty talents to
Xenocrates the philosopher, who would not receive them,
saying he was not in want. And he asked whether Xenocrates had no friend either; For as to myself, said he, the
treasure of Darius is hardly sufficient for me to bestow
among my friends. He demanded of Porus, after the fight,
how he should treat him. Royally, said he, like a king.
And being again asked, what farther he had to request;
All things, said he, are in that word
royally. Admiring
his wisdom and valor, he gave him a greater government
than he had before. Being told a certain person reviled
him, To do good, said he, and to be evil spoken of is
kingly. As he was dying, looking upon his friends, I see,
said he, my funeral tournament will be great. When he
was dead, Demades the rhetorician likened the Macedonian
army without a general to Polyphemus the Cyclops when
his eye was put out.
